Coercive Control is a gendered term coined by Dr. Evan Stark in 2007 that describes a pattern of entrapment in whereby a man exercises power and control over his female intimate partner. Physical violence may or may not be present, but coercive control is a predictor of violence – and even homicide – occurring. Although violence need not be present, victims of coercive control find their freedom and ability to make decisions for themselves slowly eroded away. They feel trapped, and often they are afraid, but have a difficult time explaining why because the coercive actions are subtle and pervasive.
Coercive control can show up in a number of ways. Some of those include:
- Control: when and where they may see people or even leave the house at all such as to buy groceries; every aspect of their lives, possibly down to what they wear; even what and when they may eat or use electricity;
- Tracking everything a person does, such as through tracker apps, tracking devices, and spyware;
- Constantly criticizing and demeaning a person; this may lead into gaslighting where the victim doubts their own perceptions of realty;
- Feeling like a shell of her former self, unable to express her own wants, desires, opinions or to make decisions.
Coercive control is a type of abuse that can be deadly. Reach out for help to an organization that helps survivors of domestic violence (despite the word ‘violence’, coercive control, even without violence, counts) such as Safe Passage ((208) 664-9303; https://www.safepassageid.org/) get free and stay safe.
If you are looking for legal assistance, please reach out to me at Strong Family Law (208-444-4482).
